Life lessons typically increase in depth and amount as we grow older. Some are more difficult to ascertain, but at length we learn. To “go fuck yourself” is one of those difficult lessons. I have commanded many people to do just that, and have likewise been commanded to do so. On a very superficial level such a command derives out of the basest of human emotion, but without direction, or the wherewithal, we are left stagnant, and wanting. My contribution here is a non exclusive, strictly directive, starting point. I suggest we analyze the words in their singular manner, and draw our conclusion from the imagery from each word.

GO. The first word directs the listener to any other location—leave. By itself, this word seems to capture the spirit of the phrase. It also alludes to definite events that are going to happen. This is called foreshadowing. In this case the future action is fucking yourself.

Fuck, on the other hand, draws a very quick visual. We imagine two beings engaged in coitus. Without that image we are left only with the exclamation “fuck,” which denotes anger, damage, or a state of extreme inebriation. We find strong imagery rooted in this word, which makes any substitution very unlikely.

And finally yourself, the subject of the sentence. The true beauty of the statement arrives when we realize the subject is performing the action and being acted upon. This keyword brings the statement to its brutal threshold.

The variations of this statement seem outright ridiculous. We will only look at a couple without analysis. 1) Leave this place, and have sex with yourself. 2) Leave this place, and damage yourself. 3) In a couple of minutes masturbate. These statements fail to capture the true essence.

Now that we have demystified the individual words, as well as the sentence structure, we are left with “How.” How do you go fuck yourself? I believe there are many ways. The question then becomes not How do you, but How can you? Further I believe that we now have infinite outcomes. You might throw yourself off a building, or in front of a train. You might drink yourself stupid, masturbate, or absolutely nothing. The list is an epiphany in its own right.

The complexity disappears. We understand that it is not for a lack of knowledge that this statement uproots our foundation of serenity. It asks for one finite solution to gestate out of innumerable possibilities—or does it? The frustration then arrives in the attempt to put a finger on the mode in which to fuck yourself. This statement asks the subject to act harshly upon itself in any and all possible ways. Keeping with this notion we need not get roused to anger when told “go fuck yourself.” We understand that as long as some sort of action follows the command we have done our duty.